Oh my God, I'm receiving SPAM from the US President ... and he don't sells penis enlargement pills for Kerry ...

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From: George W.Bush <GWB@whitehouse.gov>
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Subject: How I stole your election (ha ha ha ha!!!)
Date: Tue, 09 Nov 2004 10:41:42 -0800
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How I Stole Your Election
by George W. Bush

The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends with ALL the =
manufacturers and code-verifyers of the Electronic Voting Machines.  They =
were really nice, especially Diebold who gave me $600,000 for my campaign.  =
Wow, thanks dude!


Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to either =
alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines (simple PCs running =
windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or reprogram (via a downloadable =
software patch) the voting machines themselves so that they would give the =
advantage to ME!  Isn't America great?!?  A little money and some religious =
zealotry goes a looooong, loooong way.  Oh, the religious zealotry thing?  =
That's just a cover.  I'm not really a Christian -- or at least I don't act =
like one.  Anyway, I digress.


Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the exit polls =
were in prior elections?  No.  That's because they basically ARE accurate.  =
But this election, the exit polls showed Kerry WAY ahead.  No problem.  My =
buddies rigged the machines (and all they needed to do was rig it in one =
state, Ohio, but they took care of at least Florida for me too) not only to =
make me squeak by in the important battleground states, like Florida and =
Ohio, but they also made sure that when I did get a state that I was expected =
to win, the margin was HUGE so that my "popular" vote would make it look like =
I had a mandate.

So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again.  Let's say we didn't =
want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry really would have won =
(except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take those! heh heh).  So we let him win =
there, but in order once again to boost the "popular" vote (I put that in =
quotes because as you know, I'm not REALLY popular), we bring my vote tallies =
RIGHT UP NEXT to Kerry's, to jack up the "popular" vote as much as possible, =
even if I didn't win the state.

Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal the state =
anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were telling everyone.... =
and according to the long, long lines of new voters were telling everyone =
... because we all know most of those people were voting for Kerry, not the =
status quo), so we just jack the crap out of the vote total to REALLY stuff a =
crapload of "popular" votes in my pocket.  You see, this way I can get on the =
TV and declare that I have a "mandate" and that I'm going to "cash in" on my =
political "capital" (which I don't really have of course, but we made it look =
that way).

Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean.  Take special note of how the =
electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot totals.  And see =
what I mean about North Carolina?

Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going to have =
to impeach me.  But you know what, if you don't have verifiable paper trails =
at the polls like these folks recommend ( http://openvotingconsortium.org/ ), =
and if you don't take these voting machines out of the hands of private =
companies that are aligned with one end of the political spectrum, then I'm =
gonna just continue to hose you (and then my brother Jeb will be president =
too cause we're into this dynasty thing, kind of like my buddies the =
Saudis... ain't it cool?!?).  Also, in 2006, we're going to steal about five =
more senate seats, and then we'll have the "super-majority".  That means the =
Democrats can't do that confounded fillerbs... fillas.... fillbusters.... =
CRAP, well, they can't get in the darn way any more and we can pass ANY laws =
we want about ANYTHING and put whoever we want on the Supreme court.  Ha ha, =
then you're REALLY screwed.  So if you don't fix this mess (I mean great =
system) in two years and have a verifiable voting system nationwide, America =
is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my daddy's and Cheney's and Rove's... hey, we =
could even pass a law saying I could be president for FOUR MORE YEARS after =
2008!  That would be SOOO cool!)  Anyway, I digress once again.

Here's one of my favorite sites:

And that pesky Bev Harris.  Man I wish she would go away. If too many of you =
contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so KNOCK IT OFF!!


I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh CRAP, I =
forgot again.  Well how about this?  "This would be a heck of lot easier if =
this was [grammar incorrect] a dictatorship.... just so long as I'm the =
dictator.  Heh, heh."  Well, sorry to say folks, but I got my way.  What are =
you gonna do about it, huh?  Bring it on!!!


"Sincerely" Yours,
"President" George W. Bush

P.S.  Pass it on!  I dare ya.